Dead Man Walking
by TrueEnglishRose
Summary: She's alive, he's . . . well he's not so much. Edward and Bella have one hell of a twisted relationship, right from the very beginning. A story of strange relationships that's written purely for laughs.
1. Chapter 1

***Pokes head in the door* Any one there? Did ya miss me?**

**I know, I know, it's been a while. A shit load of stuff has happened in the last year and it's only been recently that I've sorted my head out. Anyhoo, I'm back for a bit and I hope you'll join me ;) **

**Fiction is fiction for a reason, right? Lol. Okay, so this poor Edward isn't your typical Twilight Edward. I decided to vamp it up a bit ;) **

**This was written purely for shit and giggles, which is fine, until someone giggles and shits *smirks***

* * *

Death is easy, or so they say, but of course they would, they've never gone through it.

I've seen it, lived it, and worked with it and, erm . . . smelled it. So yeah, I think I'm closer to knowing that death isn't as easy as what they make it out to be.

However, that all changed the day I had the mysterious Edward Cullen turn up on one of my slabs.

Well, not exactly _my_ slab, I'm way too young to have one of my own, but my Grandpa's.

Geoffrey Alfred Swan was Port Angeles City medical examiner, and I was sick and twisted enough to spend time with him while he performed autopsies.

* * *

**Yep, it's a drabble. It's all pre-written and will be posting everyday, more than once, I hope. If I remember how to do it, I'll also get this up on TWCS and fiction pad thingy (feel free to inbox me directions on how to navigate those sites again lol).**

**See you in a bit! xxx**


	2. Chapter 2

**Hmm, there seems to be a lot of you who like it :). Thanks for all the welcome back messages, they've been amazing! Okay, to answer a few PMs. Edward will show up in chapter 11. No, he's not a zombie and I'm not giving any more clues away! lol.**

* * *

I don't know why or how it even started, but I remember being young and walking into his room one day as he worked. I was fascinated by the dead body.

It went from squishy to solid and back to squishy again. Even as a kid my head was a little twisted.

Dad thought it was twisted as well, but as he worked quite a lot, and Grandma Helen had died a few years before that, I was happy to spend my time watching Grandpa with a scalpel.

Being in Port Angeles, which wasn't exactly a big place, bodies didn't come in every day, but Grandpa kept things busy for me. He'd always let me read his medical books and play with his bacteria slides. There was even a time when he went and collected road-kill for me to dissect.

Yeah, I had a good childhood.


	3. Chapter 3

**Good morning, all! Thank-you so much for your love, reviews and welcome backs! **

**No, Bella is not a goth lol. She's just a little . . . different? Not much bothers her. ;)**

* * *

As I grew up and went through school, I concentrated on the science aspect of learning. By the time I was sixteen, Grandpa pulled me out of school, with dad's permission of course, and got me into a private college.

All of a sudden, a whole new world opened up for me, and I absorbed everything I could like a sponge.

I didn't care for men. I got the attention from them, that's for sure, but so did every other walking vagina on campus. I didn't flutter my eye lashes, simper and swoon at them. I just kindly said no to them by saying that I'd prefer my scalpel on their skin instead of my lips.

They ran. Seems they weren't too keen on the crazy chick telling them that she prefers her men dead, cold and in her cold storage. Oh well.

Now at the grand old age of twenty-two, I was shadowing Grandpa as much as I could around my studies, hoping to fill his boots one day.

They would be pretty big boots to fill and after I met Edward Cullen and his family, I knew I'd need them.

Big old kick shitter boots, in fact.

* * *

**A couple of asked where I've been. Well, as the girls in my group know, it's been a horrendous year for me and my family. On top of this, we've moved house and I'm now a published author *gulps* so it's been a bit busy. But I'm back and this isn't the only story I'm working on. I still have a few up my sleeve for you all ;) 3**


	4. Chapter 4

**It's the weekend! (or close enough for me). What plans do you have? My plan is to write, design and get more of this story up! :D**

* * *

"So," I said as I bit down on a ham and salad sandwich. "I saw the truck pull away, what case have you got in today?" I asked, finally swallowing, and then rested my elbows on the stainless steel table in the autopsy room.

"Well, my dear, we have a John Doe found in the woods out back, just off Old Logging Road. Possibly a bear attack, but that would be a bit late in the year for them, or maybe wolves, but either way he's a bit of a mess. Damn lucky you have a cast iron stomach." Grandpa laughed as I finished my food and he brought in the body from the cold store.

I was grateful that I _did_ have a solid stomach when I saw the body.

I might have liked the job, but not _every_ aspect about it.

* * *

**Some of you have asked about my book. Hmm. Yeah . . . well, it's called The Northern Gate and my pen name is J.C. Clarke. You can also use that pen name to find me on facebook. I have a Capricorn star sign for my avi. Pop over and say hello, because I miss you all!**


	5. Chapter 5

"That. Is. Gross." I scrunched up my nose as I picked up the man's boxer shorts with a pair of tongs.

I didn't give a shit that his guts were hanging out of his stomach, but his so called white boxers, which looked as though they hadn't been changed in _months,_ made me want to puke.

No matter what situation you were in, you should always have clean underwear on.

"Some people can excel in certain areas and some can fail miserably." Grandpa chuckled as he took out his voice recorder and started to take notes on what he found.

All _I _found was a bag to put the boxers in and a shiver running down my spine as I zipped them up tight and proper.

"He failed miserably with personal hygiene." I grumbled to myself.

I got to work taking measurements of the man and hoped that if his family were found, I didn't have to hand them over his boxers as his personal belongings.

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**Ewww, there's no excuse for not having clean undies! More coming later. I'll try and get enough up so you can finally meet the Cullens. You're going to love them!**


	6. Chapter 6

**Good evening all! Hubby is cooking the dinner while I tinker and play with this :D**

* * *

We concluded a few hours later, minus any tox screens, that the man _did,_ in fact, die from a bear attack. With no ID on him, he would have to sit in cold storage until someone reported him missing or my dad, the Chief of Police, found his camp and discovered who he was.

"It's sad that he died alone," I murmured while we pushed him back into the cold storage and closed the door afterwards.

This was the bit that got to me a little. People dying. I knew it happened and there was no way you could stop it. It was _the_ one guarantee in life. You died. I just found it hard to wrap my head around it all. Some were taken too soon and others lived for what seemed like forever.

"I agree, but if you feel bad for everyone that comes through that door, you will turn into a sad, pathetic excuse for a human and will have no life!" He laughed as I rolled my eyes.

"I _do_ have a life, thank-you very much," I grumbled as I thought about my tiny room at dad's place with Jake, my brown Persian kitty cat.

It wasn't perfect, but it suited me and my will to have a quiet life.

* * *

**Okay, so I'm desperate to let you meet the Cullens, so I'll either try and get up to chapter 11 posted tonight or early tomorrow :)**


	7. Chapter 7

"You need a little bit of a life outside of these grey walls, Isabella. I know I pushed you into this, and I really want you to do well, but you have to find a happy medium. If you're working with the dead all the time, then find something exhilarating to balance it out." He smiled gently.

"Broken record, Grandpa and it's not like you pushed me into it. I love it and wouldn't change it for the world." I laughed lightly while filing away the last of the paperwork.

I had a good life; it was quiet and peaceful. I had my family around me and that's all I needed.

I wasn't a boring person; I knew how to have fun, kind of, but I liked it the way it was.

Simple foods, simple clothes, and a simple life. I hated the hustle and bustle of large cities, too many people or music that was too loud.

All in all, I was just _me_. The girl who hated too many people around me, shopping and loud noises. That's why I liked the dead. They gave me peace and quiet.

* * *

**Okay, so I'm getting a little tired as it's late here, so I'm going to let you have up to chapter 11 today ;)**


	8. Chapter 8

I came home that night to find Dad sitting at the table, cleaning his gun, and Mikey at his side.

Mikey was a golden lab that hated my Jakey with a passion, but knew that I wouldn't stand for him bullying Jakey, so as soon as I walked in, he legged it out of the back door.

"Hey, Bells, how did the digging about go?" Dad grunted out a laugh as he put down his gun. Our town was so small, I couldn't remember the last time he did any actual police work and fired the damn thing, but every night he cleaned in. On my kitchen table!

"It's not digging about, it's a medical procedure," I huffed playfully as I looked through the cupboards for dinner.

"I know that, but it makes me feel better to joke about it." He grinned as he stood up, and then we both made a start on the food.

I'd trained him well over the years and he could almost defend for himself if he had to in the cooking department.

I did say _almost_.


	9. Chapter 9

"Take your pick, floater from the Sound or RTA crash victim," Grandpa offered as soon as I walked into his office the following morning. I downed the rest of my coffee and threw the cup in the trash before looking over the notes.

"I did a floater a few weeks back, I'll take the RTA." I grinned as I hung up my coat and grabbed an apron.

"Eager this morning?" he asked with his wicked signature Swan smile.

"Not really, just want to get going." I smiled back as I grabbed the clipboard and got to work.

"Remember that I'm away from here this afternoon for the next three days," he shouted as I walked out of the door.

"I know!" I laughed. He had told me every day for the last three weeks that I'd be on my own. I was over the moon, so it wasn't like I would forget that small bit of information!

I was going to be on my own, doing his work, completely unsupervised.

I was going to love it!

* * *

**Or will she? Hehehehe**


	10. Chapter 10

"I'm off, Isabella," Grandpa said as he poked his head through the door. He'd changed out of his lab coat and sadly, was wearing a suit that looked like it came out of the seventies. As much as I hated shopping, we needed to update his closet.

I was elbow deep in liver and bowel, so I couldn't exactly give him a hug goodbye, but I did give him a quick kiss on the cheek.

"I'll be back on Saturday, so don't think you can change my office around or tidy anything up, I'll be back before you know it." He chuckled as he walked out of the room and left me to it.

"So, I guess it's just you and me now." I grinned as I looked down at the patient on the table.


	11. Chapter 11

**EPOV**

"Yo, Daywalker, mom needs you to go to the store to get her some stuff," Emmett called out as I put my controller down.

The dipshit was stood in the doorway of my room with a pout on his face that rivalled a three year old.

"Got a list?" I asked with a wicked grin while he glared at me.

Emmett hated the fact that I could go out during the day and not sparkle like a man at Gay Pride, but he did. His boasting of big muscles and awesome speed lost meant Jack shit to me when he glittered like Tinkerbell at Christmas time in the sun.

"Yeah." He huffed as he turned the paper list into a makeshift plane and flew it across the room at me.

"Cheers." I caught it in a snap and smirked at him.

"Oh, and Rose wants to know if you can grab her some hairspray, too." He gave me a shrug as I glared at him.

"Oh hell fucking no!"

* * *

**And the first of the Cullens have arrived! How do you think Edward meets Bella?**


	12. Chapter 12

I was a hybrid, so if I bled, I healed almost instantly.

I was super-fast. Faster than anyone of our kind.

I was super strong. Even more so than Emmett, which he hated admitting.

I had the best eyesight and hearing.

I was a _man_.

A man's man.

You would not find me going up and down the feminine aisle looking like a pansy while picking out fucking hairspray for my sister! Thank fuck I didn't have to buy tampons, because that shit was so wrong on so many levels!

"She'll kick your ass if you don't and you know it." Emmett laughed from the door frame.

"Yeah, only because she knows that if I hit her back, you'll be on mine, and mom will get involved." I smirked again.

There were a few good things about being a hybrid. One of them was having a mom who always had your back, in case you got too badly hurt.

* * *

**If Edward was in your life, would you send him out to buy girlie bits for you? lol. More to follow!**


	13. Chapter 13

See, I was mom's only _biological_ son. Emmett, Rose, Alice and Jasper, well they were her kids, but not like me.

She got pregnant with me with Dad, Carlisle, which was a complete shock for our kind and I was in one word: unique.

There was no record of a vampire mating with a human before and actually making a baby.

Dad had rushed mom to Volterra the moment he'd heard my heartbeat, and as soon as I was born, mom had to be changed from human to super-awesome kickass vampire-mom.

They found out pretty quickly that I could die, because I was a little bit human. But I could also come back to life, thanks to the vamp in me. Every day was a new situation with me and it was a huge learning curve.

We spent the first seven years of my life there, with me being prodded and poked.

Once I started to prod and bite back, we left.

* * *

**So . . . How much of the Cullens do you want tonight? lol**


	14. Chapter 14

I still had issues with a lot of the vampires in Volterra, despite 'Uncle Aro' telling me to class them all as family.

He wanted me mated with Jane.

Yeah, I think fucking not.

She was a high class bitch, and seeing as though she was changed at the age of only twelve, that just screamed a little wrong to me. Not only that, but she was some whiny little girl. She'd stamp her foot at everything. If I mated with her, I was stuck with her for life and even I wasn't that stupid.

Aro didn't like the fact that I said no to her and he's one smarmy bastard. However, at the end of the day, I had gifts and he didn't want to piss me off and have me use them.

* * *

**Ewww, I have never liked Jane. Poor Edward being subjected to that!**


	15. Chapter 15

I growled as I read the text from Mom, asking me, _politely_, to pick up a can of hairspray for Rose.

"Goddammit," I groaned out as I walked through the doors of the local store, and headed as quickly as I could down and out of the feminine aisle.

Once that was over with, I grabbed a few things for myself and a game that Emmett had wanted, and then headed over to the diner.

Not being able to survive on animal blood alone, my family had to supplement their nutritional needs with actual food, but it smelled disgusting to them.

Personally, I loved the smell of fried onions and greasy burgers.

Their loss was my gain.

* * *

** Yep, I have them eating in this one. Never did understand why they had to throw up food. Would the venom in their stomachs dissolve the food?**


	16. Chapter 16

"Mornin', sugar, what can I get you?" the waitress asked, and she didn't even bother to look at me, which was a first. Women always looked at me.

A quick delve into her mind told me all I needed to know.

She wasn't into men.

I was cool with that.

"Double quarter pounder with extra cheese, double onion with extra-large cheesy fries, and a large chocolate milkshake, please." I grinned when her eyes snapped to mine.

Once she got a look over my size, she stuttered out a quick "Sure" as she jotted down my order.

I wasn't that small, in fact, I was slightly larger than Jasper, but I had an appetite that rivaled Emmett's and I knew how to put food away.

I had my reasons, though; I burnt off a lot of calories.

It took a lot out of my body to be a half vamp and there were women, too

* * *

**Nearly there! They meet soon! :D**


	17. Chapter 17

Don't get me wrong, I wasn't a sexual deviant or anything, but I had an excess amount of energy being a hybrid, and I'd found that sex was a good way to burn that off.

So I had sex.

I was still picky, still particular, and I sure as hell made sure that I read their minds before I went anywhere near them.

If their minds squealed and screamed like little teens, I hightailed it out of there before I got too close to them.

Could you imagine the noises they'd make through the exchange?

It was enough to make me vomit.

* * *

**Donkey noises have to be the worst to hear, don't you think?**


	18. Chapter 18

Once I finished my food and had grabbed a few extra things in town, I started to make my way back home. I needed to get ready to go into Seattle for a little bit of nightlife with my brothers and sisters.

We didn't often go out as a group, because quite frankly, we scared the shit out of most people, but every now and then we went to have some fun.

Emmett and Rose embraced the 'vampire' look, and all but demanded that the rest of us go out looking like a paler version of Blade. It was hilarious and we'd gotten into a shit load of fights with bikers in their bars for the sheer hell of it.

Had to do something to keep us occupied.

* * *

**Could you just imagine them all going to a club. Dressed in leathers? Oh the visions! lol**


	19. Chapter 19

"Mom, do you really need it? I was just on the way home." I huffed like a petulant child while I straddled my Ducati 911.

It was hard enough to fit all the shit that the others had wanted in my bag. I really didn't want to carry back a potted plant from the local florist, too.

"Please, baby boy?"

Aw mom, did you have to? I hated it when she used that pleading voice.

I ended up agreeing and after I picked up the damn plant, I made my way back home.

Who knew that the next thing I would see, would be a set of beautiful brown eyes staring back at me?

* * *

**Awww, he's such a momma's boy hehehe. So Edward on a bike and a pot plant. How do you think he'll meet Bella?**


	20. Chapter 20

**BPOV**

_"__Don't go anywhere just yet, precious daughter of mine. We have an RTA that's been called in and the EMT's have just pronounced, so he's heading your way. How do you feel about doing this on your own?"_

I heard Dad's voice down the phone, and although I felt bad for the person, I was kinda excited to be doing this on my own.

"I'm fine. I know that Grandpa wants any and all cases done carefully, and for the bodies, if there were any, to stay here until he gets back so he can double check my findings," I said proudly, knowing full well that he wouldn't find anything wrong with how I worked.

_"__Okay, we'll be with you in about twenty minutes or so, depending on the traffic,"_ Dad said, and then hung up.

While I was waiting for him to arrive, I readied my kit and made sure I had anything to hand.

Then the nerves hit.

* * *

**These next few chapters are for Mina, because her reviews are making me crack up laughing! ;)**


	21. Chapter 21

Dad came in with two EMTs about half an hour later and I swear he was trying to hang around to keep an eye on me. It aggravated me.

If Grandpa was okay with me doing this, why couldn't Dad be?

"Don't you have witnesses to interview or something?" I huffed, and started cataloging John Doe's belongings.

"Nope," Dad grinned, and I mock glared at him.

"Fine, be like that. Seeing as you're being stubborn with me, I'll do you the same courtesy and be the same with you. While Geoffrey is away on business, I'm in charge. Therefore, I'm kicking you out, now scoot or I won't be cooking dinner when I get home." I glared for real this time, and then smiled when Dad shuffled out of my autopsy room.

* * *

**So much fun to be had! ;)**


	22. Chapter 22

"Name, Edward Anthony Cullen, date of birth is recorded on his driving license as June twentieth nineteen-ninety-one. Confirm, Edward Anthony Cullen, DOB one nine, nine one. Male caucasian, approximate height: six foot two. Pronounced dead at the scene." I clicked the recorder off, laid it down, and then got to work to cut the body out of its leathers and admitted that for once, it was a shame to see someone on my slab.

"Such a beautiful man, and a life cut too short," I whispered sadly as I took in his features. _All_ of his features.

You couldn't even tell that he had just suffered a horrific accident; there wasn't a scratch on him. That didn't prove anything though. I'd seen enough of these accidents at University to prove that a scratch didn't kill.

It was brain trauma and internal injuries, it had to be.

That's what did it.

I sighed deeply when I cut off his shirt.

"So pretty."

* * *

**So . . . yeah. lol**


	23. Chapter 23

I stood there in the middle of the autopsy room and I was actually deliberating with myself.

Edward Cullen was lying on my table and I found that I didn't want to cut him open. I didn't want to cut into his beautiful skin.

Captured by his looks, his hair, and of course, his perfect body, I was struck dumb.

I had made a quick call to Dad, telling him what I'd found in Edward's wallet, ID wise, and that he'd have to go to the diner for dinner, or get take out because it was going to be a long night for me.

I just didn't understand how long it would actually be.

Dad griped that he'd have to tell the new doctor in town that his son was dead, and I had to cut the dead son open.

And I just didn't want to do it.

* * *

**I wouldn't want to cut open his perfect body either *pouts***


	24. Chapter 24

"Get a grip, Bella," I coached myself as I picked up the scalpel and got ready to make a Y-incision into his perfect skin.

"Oh, God, why are you effecting me like this?" I grouched at him, knowing full well that he wouldn't reply.

"I wouldn't do that, if I were you."

A voice came through the room, and I must have jumped at least four feet back from the table while dropping the scalpel onto the solid tiled floor.

My eyes whipped up to see six sets of eyes, amber eyes, staring back right at me.

"I'm sorry, you can't be back here," I muttered, fighting to cover Edward back up and give him a little dignity.

"He's my son." A young woman with auburn hair said, and I felt my world crash.

"Then I'm sorry, but you _really_ shouldn't be in here," I replied and tried to usher them out of the room.

* * *

**So, the whole family is there. What else do you think will happen? ;)**


	25. Chapter 25

"If she doesn't want to listen, then she really won't, but I think this will be a good thing." A dark haired girl whispered, and the others followed her lead and walked into the waiting room.

"I really am sorry for your loss, and as soon as I have some answers for you, I'll be able to give them out, but at the moment, all I can do is ask you to wait for me to do my job," I said, flustered, but trying to keep my voice level and calm as I followed them.

I hated talking to relatives.

Well, people in general, really. I just wasn't a 'people' person.

I liked to be on my own, or with a few select friends.

And I was starting get really uncomfortable with Edward's family staring at me.

They weren't even crying.

"So . . . I'll get back to my job," I said awkwardly, and made my way out of the small room.

* * *

**:)**


	26. Chapter 26

When I got back into my room, I took a deep and steadying breath as I looked at the sheet covered body on the table.

He was my age.

Had family waiting here for him.

Was dead on my table and my life was practically dead.

He'd had so much in front of him, the same as me.

Damn, my life was depressing sometimes.

Maybe I needed to live a little, just like Grandpa and Dad had been telling me.

I put the soiled scalpel in the stainless steel sink and then went to the cabinet for another one, pushing myself to get through the autopsy.

If I had to, I would push myself through it, and my life. If I had to, I would think of Edward when I decided to close myself off.

* * *

**So so close ;)  
**


	27. Chapter 27

"Right to left, diagonally from collarbone to sternum," I whispered and let the scalpel glide into the skin.

It was tougher than I was expecting, but he had been sat on the table for a while now and rigor mortis was setting in.

A small amount of blood seeped out from the cut and I still felt bad that I had marred his flawless skin.

"That _really_ fucking hurts, you know," a voice whispered huskily.

All I remember after that was that I let out a blood curdling scream before everything went black.

* * *

**So, stupid question, but . . . who spoke to Bella? LOL**


	28. Chapter 28

**I was an Epic fail yesterday at updating. :( Sorry about that. I suppose that means more chapters today, right? ;)**

* * *

EsPOV

"I told you that she'd do whatever she was going to. It didn't matter what we'd have said to her, she was just doing her job." Alice giggled while I watched Emmett and Jasper try and get Edward dressed.

He was fighting them.

I had no idea why, but he wanted to be next to this sweet girl.

He was still naked, but all he cared about was the girl on the ground.

I was puzzled, but my dear husband was smiling from ear to ear.

"Don't you remember how I acted when we were first together, my beloved? And do you remember the fights I got into when we arrived in Volterra? Surely it wasn't _too _long ago for you?" he joked, and all of a sudden, you could hear a pin drop.

"You've gotta be shitting me?" Rose laughed.

It was not our fault that Carlisle was a little . . . amorous when we first met.

* * *

**So, while Edward and Bella are out of it and everyone has to come up with a plan, there'll be a few POV changes. It's all good fun ;)**


	29. Chapter 29

**I always liked the more intense bonding. Animalistic hehehehe.**

* * *

EsPOV

"Son, son you have to get up off of the floor and get dressed, you can't be on the floor with her like this when she wakes up. That will scare her more than what's happened already." I tried to soothe his low growls and warnings, but it was no use.

"Carlisle, what the hell are we going to do? It was one thing for him to be in this situation in the first place, but to start bonding with a human, a human who has family here, how is this going to work?" I asked, fighting to keep the worry from my voice.

I clearly remembered how Carlisle and I were in the beginning. That was at least somewhat normal compared to how this girl had ended up with our family.

"We're going to take Isabella back home with us, and when she wakes up, Edward will get her to call her Dad and tell him that she's fine, but she's working through the night. After that, she'll demand to know what's going on, but it will all work out . . . _eventually_," Alice said with a small grin as she looked at her brother.

"Eventually?" Carlisle asked.

"You really _don't _want to know," Alice replied with a laugh.

"I want to know why he's purring like a cat in heat. Did we all do that or is this a new thing because of what he is?" Rose asked while she looked down at Edward.

He was gently pawing and stroking the poor girl's face.


	30. Chapter 30

And Kittyward is born! Hahahaha, you can thank Mina for the name! Hehehehe

* * *

EsPOV

"When will she wake up?" Jasper asked, and I could tell that he was on edge. We all could.

There we were, six vampires, one hybrid, and a human in the middle of a small autopsy room.

"When she's ready, Jasper. You should know by now not to rush a woman." Alice laughed, and he just rolled his eyes at her.

"Seriously, Alice, we need a time scale." Carlisle stepped in, and it looked like he was fighting with himself. Debating on whether to try and get in between Edward and Bella or not.

We both knew that it would be detrimental for anyone to try and step in, and that's why I think he was conflicted.

He wanted no harm to come to the girl or us.


	31. Chapter 31

EPOV

She was mine, and mine only.

I didn't care about the thoughts of the others, I just wanted her.

I needed her to be safe, to be loved, and to be mine.

"Edward, we have to move you, son. Can you trust me?"

_Dad._

"Mine."

"Yes, son, we know she's yours, but we need to get her some place safe."

_Safe._

"Mine. Safe." I muttered while I stroked her beautiful hair.

"Yes, yours and safe, we get it. Now get your naked ass up from the ground before she catches a cold."

_Rose._

"Safe."

Reason was setting in.

I needed her safe, but she was on the dirty floor.

And I was naked.

"Oh shit."

* * *

**Hehehe. His mind is starting to come back to him, but for how long?**


	32. Chapter 32

"How do you feel?" Dad asked as he fought to get me dressed.

I don't know why, but I had to keep one hand on the girl at all times, which was proving difficult.

"Awkward and confused."

"That's perfectly normal. This will be a little different because you're a hybrid and she's human, but I gauge that it will follow the same pattern, more or less, that's normal for our kind," Dad said, and I growled.

"More or less?" I would not have her experimented on; not like I had been.

"We won't let Aro near you. We will have to see how receptive Bella is to you when she wakes up."

_Bella_.

_My_ Bella.

"Mine."

"Yes, yours, now shut up and get dressed," Alice bitched, and I shot her a death glare.

Shame she was already dead.

* * *

**Okay, quick reminder. I wrote this last year. It's complete and I make no apologies for what is in this story hehehe. There's a big plot twist coming up and you can SO blame texasbella for it! So, alll the blame is on her. ;)**


	33. Chapter 33

"Could you not have brought me any clothes?" I grouched while waiting for mom to tie up the cords to the hospital gown.

"We could have, but then we would have missed out on the sight of your cute, lily-white ass," Emmett chuckled, but no one saw his humor when I growled again.

"Emmett, be careful, he's in a strange place right now," Mom whispered. I was a little grateful for her intervention.

Just two weeks ago I was going out and getting laid, we were planning on going out tonight, and now I was stuck with a mate who had fainted on me. I didn't even know anything about her.

Would I like her?

Shit, would she like me?

I hoped she didn't sound like a whining banshee when we had sex.

* * *

**But we love his lily white ass, right?**


	34. Chapter 34

We finally managed to get home after about an hour, and I made sure to put Bella in my bed.

If she was going to wake up anywhere, it would be in my room.

I had no clue where the fuck I was going to sleep from now on, but that was another matter for another time.

And why was she still asleep? I thought women only fainted for about a minute or so.

Was something wrong with her?

Was she ill?

Did I need smelling salts?

"Chill, she's probably exhausted. There's nothing wrong with her." Jasper laughed at me from the doorway and I growled again.

What the fuck was up with me?

It sounded like I had a fur ball lodged in the back of my throat.

* * *

**lol, you all seem to like a purring Edward. This story has been so much fun to write, but Edward is the best so far ;)**


	35. Chapter 35

"Come down stairs, Son, you're going to scare her when she wakes up," I heard dad say, but I shook my head.

I didn't want her waking up on her own.

"No," I replied, watching Bella from the other side of the room.

I would be here when she woke up. Explain why she was here and not at work or at her house, wherever that was.

I was fucked.

How the hell was I going to explain this to her? _I _didn't even know what was going on.

Well, I understood a little, but she was human. It wasn't supposed to work this way.

I wasn't supposed to bond with _anyone_.

The way I acted when I saw her. Shit, it was like I wanted to piss on her leg, mark my territory.

I may have had sex before, but I'm not _that_ fucking kinky!

"You're going to hyperventilate and pass out again," I heard Alice say, but I ignored her.

* * *

**Hmm, okay, so you're going to start asking questions soon. Something along the lines of 'What the hell is up with Edward?' All will be revealed in time (but you can always try and guess) hehehe**


	36. Chapter 36

_"__Three, two, one-"_

"Where the fuck am I?" I growled and wondered why Alice counting backward?

"You really should pay attention when I tell you things," I heard her voice drift up through the floors.

I was in my bed.

What happened to me?

Damn it!

Shit, where was Bella?

I shot out of bed and scanned the room, but she wasn't there.

"She's down here, Edward. How about you come down and say hello?" Jasper said with a laugh.

I growled again and rushed downstairs.

How could they have her down there without me?

I didn't want her near them, she was mine!

"Oh, not again!"

* * *

**Any ideas yet?**


	37. Chapter 37

**BPOV**

Ever woken up to find yourself in a strange house, with a load of people you don't know, standing over you and trying to feed you with fruitcake and sweet tea?

No?

Just me then.

I had no idea what to expect when I first woke up, but it certainly wasn't having the dead man, who apparently was no longer dead, lying next to me.

And get this, he fainted, too!

Yeah, I found it hard to be scared when pretty boy fainted alongside me.

"He really is a sweet boy when he's not PMSing over everything," the 'sweet boy's' mother said with a grin.

I would have smiled, too, if I wasn't sat in the living room with six strangers in a house I didn't know.

"Oh," was all I could say.

* * *

**How well do you think Bella will take the news about who they all are? And Edward? lol. I've had a few people ask how many chapters there will be. Like my other drabbles, this will be pretty long and it stands at 90 chapters complete. Now, if any of you were to ask for outtakes etc... or plead for me to add something that I haven't fully covered, there could be more ;)  
**


	38. Chapter 38

Now I was just really uncomfortable. What the hell did I say to them all?

There I was, still in my scrubs, my hair a mess, and they were all perfect.

Perfect house, clothes, hair, bodies.

I looked like hell compared to them.

And I was in their house.

Which I had no fucking clue where it was.

And let's not forget that I just cut open their somewhat-not-dead son and he woke up on my table.

"You don't have to be so on edge, it's not like we're going to eat you," one man said with a laugh, but then got smacked by the smaller, dark-haired girl.

"Jasper. Shut. Up," she growled.

"You know what, my sugar levels are fine, I'm back to normal, so I'm just going to make a move and head back to work," I mumbled and stood up. "Fuck it," I grumbled after noticing that I dropped a load of crumbs from the cake all over the floor.

"Shit, I'm sorry, I don't normally fucking swear!" I half wailed noticing that I'd swore again.

"That's nothing, wait until Edward wakes up. Now _that _man can swear!" Jasper laughed and I plonked my bottom back down into the armchair.

I was too freaked out for this shit.

* * *

**She might freak out, but then again, she might not ;)**


	39. Chapter 39

"Bella, how about you wait until Edward wakes up? It won't take him long, and then we can explain what happened earlier," the man, Carlisle, said.

I was starting to feel light headed again.

Was the shock creeping in?

Thinking about Edward dying, then waking back up when I cut him open, was not something I wanted to do.

I knew that happened sometimes. Mistakes were made and people who were thought to be dead really weren't, but for it to happen to me?

That was messed up.

"Seriously, you need to calm down because the fainting shit is going to carry on with the pair of you if you don't," Alice, the small girl, said with a laugh. I glared at her.

"I'm glad you find this funny," I grumbled.

"Oh, sweetheart. It's not that we find the situation funny, well, actually, we do, but that's another matter. Alice sees the good in all things. She laughs at almost everything," the mother cut in and my mind was leaving me.

"Ah-ah, stay focused, Bella, no more fainting." Jasper laughed.

"Three, two, one," Alice counted back with a big grin.

Did I mention I was getting a headache?

* * *

**I think I'd get a headache, too!**


	40. Chapter 40

My heart started pumping in my chest.

I felt a shift in me, and I think they knew it, too.

Did they put something in my food or drink? Poison or drug me with something?

"You really should pay attention when I tell you things," Alice said, and I was confused.

"I'm trying," I hissed. "But you have to admit that this is all a little out of my depth," I finished and she laughed harder.

"Not you, silly, him," she said with a grin. The next thing I saw was a flash of . . . something before I was jostled from my seat, and then . . .

Well, then I was sat in Edward's lap, curled up in a ball, and he was stroking my face with his fingers.

Was he fucking purring?!

"Erm . . . Hi?" I squeaked.

* * *

**Uh-oh ;) lol**


	41. Chapter 41

"Edward, go gentle, she's fragile," Carlisle whispered, but it didn't look like Edward wanted to pay attention.

"Mine," he whispered, looking at my neck.

His? What?

"Yes, yours, but be gentle," his mother joined in.

"Rosalie, could you go and get Bella some painkillers please, she's going to get a headache in a minute or two." Alice tittered.

Going to get a headache? A little late for that!

"Mine," he purred.

"Yes, for God's sake, yours, now will someone tell me what the hel-eeeep!"

I was flipped in the chair in a second flat and now his body was like a cage around me.

What the hell was going on?

* * *

**Okay, now I'm truly howling with laughter. We have Mina who has given Edward the new name of Kittyward and Arc has now named Bella... Catnipella (or Nipella for short)! You are all SO amazing! 3**


	42. Chapter 42

EPOV

Mine.

Mine.

Mine.

Safe, she needed to be safe.

She was mine.

I needed her safe.

It was too loud.

"Edward, you're scaring her, calm down a little," Dad said.

I could hear him.

I could hear her.

I could feel her breathe on my neck.

Panting.

Safe.

Mine.

Purring.

That was me.

Her scent.

Her skin.

"Edward! For Christ's sake, quit licking her neck!"

* * *

**Now let's face it, we ALL want Edward to lick our necks, right? I'm not the only one, I bet! lol**


	43. Chapter 43

**EsPOV**

My son, the boy I had given birth to and raised with respect and standards, was all but dry humping the poor girl while he held her in a cage made of his arms.

On my leather couch, no less!

"Carlisle, do something!" I called out, but Alice shook her head.

"Just let him have his five minutes of fun. If we go over there and try and get him off her, it'll get worse. You're okay, aren't you, Bella?" She laughed and poor Bella looked almost dead with embarrassment.

"I don't have much of a choice, do I?" she whispered in reply, and Jasper chuckled before letting us know, quietly, that Bella was kind of enjoying herself.


	44. Chapter 44

"I am so sorry!" Edward muttered over a drink at the kitchen table.

After an hour, we'd finally managed to coax him away from Bella. Now she was upstairs cooling down and 'chilling out' with Alice.

I never got that expression. We were naturally cold.

We were as chilled as they came.

"Esme, I think we need to sit those two down and talk to them about what happened with us. With Edward being a hybrid and Bella a human, we're the closest they've got to answers," my darling whispered.

Edward groaned. "I do _not_ want to hear about you two. It's bad enough hearing your thoughts and the wall banging, I don't need to hear the actual stuff!" he grumbled.

"YOU'RE WHAT?!" Bella screeched from upstairs and Edward was off like a shot, the chair breaking against the floor, and his drink spilling everywhere.

"That's your fault, that is!" I hissed, pointing to where our son had just disappeared.

"Why mine?" Carlisle choked in surprise.

"Because he's as horny as you are!"

* * *

**Erm . . . I think Bella just got told about them being vampires lol**


	45. Chapter 45

BPOV

Licking.

Sucking.

Panting.

Purring.

VAMPIRES!

Everything I could cope with, but not the vampire bit.

Nah-ah, no way.

I mean, come on!

Vampires?

What's next, zombies?

A second after Alice and Rosalie told me, I saw another flash as the door flew off of its hinges and then I was pinned to the bed.

This would get old.

Don't get me wrong, I liked what he was doing to me in some weird and twisted way, but I hated him coming at me with full force.

I liked my organs to stay inside my body; not trying to escape through my throat.

Or my ass.

* * *

**It's been great to hear how much you all love this story and how much it's made you laugh. What's better is how you have made ****_me_**** laugh with your reviews! I haven't laughed so hard in so long. :D**


	46. Chapter 46

"Edward, gentle, please," I whispered while he sucked on my neck.

It felt kinda nice.

If being sucked and kissed by a complete stranger, who'd been dead on your table just hours prior, was anything to go by, then yeah, it was nice.

"Sorry, I want you safe and warm, and oh, God, Bella, you taste so good," he whispered, and if it wasn't for Alice and Rosalie standing in the doorway, I would have let it go a little further.

Just a little.

"We need to talk, Edward," I whispered.

"I won't hurt you. I promise, Bella, only safe, I want you safe," he replied, and I felt bad for how pained he sounded.

"Edward, I don't know you. I know nothing apart from what the girls have told me, and that I cut you open just hours ago. You were supposed to be dead," I mumbled, getting lost in the sensation of his little nips and sucks.

"Later. Keep you safe _now_."

Oh, Boy.

How old was he, exactly?

* * *

**He is a sweetheart, but poor Bella has a lot to deal with when it comes to our Kittyward ;) And can you believe it, we hit 600 reviews! O.O Thanks Mina! And wow... I'm blown away by all your love for this story. Should we reward Kittyward with a Bella scented ball of string to play with? lol  
**


	47. Chapter 47

"You're telling me that you were born in 1901 and you stopped aging when you were seven?" I stuttered out while I moved my game piece two places on the Monopoly board.

Shut it, it helped me think.

It was now three in the morning, and after calling Dad to confirm that I wasn't going home, Edward and I settled down to talk while the others went out to hunt.

_Hunt._

Thinking about what that entailed, yeah, I wouldn't go there.

I just kept looking at Edward and making sure he didn't jump on me.

Not that I could stop him.

And if I were being honest, I didn't exactly want him to stop if he started.

I knew that at some point, I would go into shock.

It was medically possible.

Vampires shouldn't exist.

I shouldn't be sitting there with a so-called hybrid.

But I was.

I just needed my brain to catch up with my body.

"Bella, you okay?" he asked, and with one look from his gorgeous eyes, I whimpered and he was on me again.

Game forgotten, for now.

* * *

**I wonder what Bella will think about hunting. Scary or sexy? Mmmm, our sexy Kittyward hunting... sheesh! *fans self***


	48. Chapter 48

"They'll be home soon and I don't want to share you, Bella, I want you to be mine, not theirs," he moaned against my neck.

He seemed to like it there just as much as I liked him being there.

"I am yours, Edward, not theirs," I replied, keeping my voice soft and soothing.

The last thing I needed was him to turn on his family.

Carlisle had explained earlier that until we were 'complete,' Edward would continue to behave like this: protective and possessive.

I had a rough idea what 'complete' meant in his terms; couldn't exactly say that I _wasn't_ looking forward to it.

I just needed to get to know him _first_.

I had no idea how I was supposed to work with him like this, though.

It would prove to be an interesting time, that's for sure.

* * *

**So, is she coming around to the idea or is it the lust, licking and sucking that's talking? lol.**


	49. Chapter 49

**EsPOV**

_Some time later . . . _

"I knew it would happen. I leave her alone for a couple of hours and I find her in an absolute state on the living room floor. How am I supposed to explain this to her father when I see him? Have you seen her? And you, Alice, why didn't you warn us?" I muttered while I folded the laundry for the third time since we'd gotten back from hunting.

Poor Edward was cooing to Bella on the floor; pain was clear in his eyes while Bella had a mini to moderate panic attack on my Persian rug.

"What if I had warned you, even though I couldn't, what would it have solved? Bella held it together for as long as she could. If Emmett and Rose hadn't come in and started talking about fucking each other after finishing that bear, then she might not have fallen apart just as bad. At the end of the day, she can't just walk into a house with six vampires and a misfit and expect to walk out feeling the same. Especially after being thrown into a bondage game – sorry, _bonding game_ - with Edward," Alice said with a smile while Edward growled.

"Edward, shut up, you're even pissing me off now," I grouched.

* * *

**Esme has a golden heart, but come on! Living in a house with all of them would piss off even the most patient of people. ;)**


	50. Chapter 50

**CPOV**

Seeing Edward act the way he was, brought back my own memories of how I had been with Esme when I first met her, but looking from the outside in, it seemed Edward was taking it to another level.

I could already see the love and devotion in his eyes, but there was also something more, and if we weren't careful, he'd end up hurting one of us should he think we posed a threat to his mate.

"Carlisle, will you talk to our boy? He's off his head if he thinks he can do that to the poor girl on our couch," my love whispered to me, but Edward had impeccable hearing and growled deeply again while rocking Bella.

"I knew he reminded me of something! He's an ape or a chimp. You know, how they hold their babies and shit!" Emmett laughed from the sidelines and they all groaned.

Apart from me.

Emmett was right.

There's always a first time for everything, I suppose.

"Thank God she doesn't have head or body lice," Alice said with a grimace.

* * *

**You have to love Emmett, right? lol**


	51. Chapter 51

EPOV

I didn't want her to go to work.

I didn't want her to go home.

She _was _home, with me, and I didn't want her to leave.

"Son, you know we have to keep up with our normal activities so we don't raise suspicion with being here. The same goes for Bella. She can hardly walk out of her job just to be with you."

Just because I loved my father dearly, didn't mean I had to like him all of the time. Why couldn't Bella give up her job? I could give her anything she wanted.

"Son?"

"Yes, fine, I get it. I get that we have to be the _perfect_ family in the _perfect_ home in the _perfect_ town, and I know that Bella has to go to work and be the little cutter-opener that she is," I replied.

"Oh, joys. _Edward_; the perpetual petulant teenager," Rose scoffed from somewhere in the house.

"Rose, give it a rest," Mom replied. "Edward, Bella has to go to work. It doesn't matter how much you sulk, mope about or strop, nothing will change it," she finished, placing my breakfast in front of me.

"You know, I _do_ have some kind of say in this. I _am_ here at the table, you know," Bella muttered and then thanked Mom for her breakfast.

Ooops.

* * *

**Try saying that ten times really fast;****_ Edward_****; the perpetual petulant teenager lol**


	52. Chapter 52

"Can I at least come with you?" I asked, and no doubt, it looked like I was pouting.

"No."

"Not even to drive you there?"

"No."

"Lunch? I bet Mom would make us a really nice lunch."

"No."

"Well, when? I don't like not being able to see you, or hold you, or taste you," I whined.

Maybe I _was_ acting like a kid, but it's not like I could have turned it off.

"I'll come by after work and see you then," she replied with a grin and I gave out another loud moan.

"But that's hours away!" I think my arms may have flopped about like a three year old's while I stamped my foot.

"Edward?" she asked.

"Yeah?"

"Grow up." And with that, she got in Alice's car and they were off.

"She didn't even kiss me goodbye!" I cried out.

* * *

**Don't worry, he does come out of his needy/stroppy side soon. ;)**


	53. Chapter 53

BPOV

"He should be dead. I cut him open and he should have been bleeding all over the place, but he wasn't. He kissed me and . . . _sucked_ on me," I stammered out.

In the cool, clinical room that was my space, my thinking place, I was fighting to get my thoughts and emotions under control now that I wasn't around so much 'crazy.'

It wasn't working ─ because someone was laughing at me.

"If you hadn't been so stubborn about getting us to leave the room, I could have told you everything before he woke up on this table," Alice said with another laugh from her perch on the other stainless steel table.

The girl was actually laying down on it, a clean sheet draped over her and pulled up until it was tucked in under her armpits.

"How can I take any of you seriously while he's acting the way he is? By the way, you're disrespecting the dead by being un-dead and laying on that table pretending to be dead, even though you are." Yes, yes it was possible to confuse myself, apparently.

"Being dead is boring, you make it all so much better. And anyway, I think you might need me around for when your Gramps gets back into town later." Alice laughed again while I growled.

* * *

**So Grandpa is back soon . . .**


	54. Chapter 54

"How the hell am I going to explain it to him? He's going to be back in less than nine hours and I have no idea what to say. Grandpa is pretty clued up on all things around here and then there's dad! He knows that Edward is dead, I mean, he helped bring in the body and called Carlisle for freaking sake! How on earth am I going to lead two separate lives, keeping a dead Edward away from my dad and grandpa, when Edward is joined to my hip constantly?" I muttered, trying to get my thoughts under control.

"I think you might be surprised by their reactions. Your dad spends time at La Push, so he must know about their legends and stuff from when they get drunk. I know, they're not supposed to say anything to outsiders, but you know how men like to brag once they have a beer. Anyway, as I was saying, you might be surprised by their reactions." Alice adjusted the sheet that was laying over her.

Freaks, they're all a bunch of freaks!

* * *

**:D**


	55. Chapter 55

An hour. I had an hour until my Gramps was due back and Dad had just called to say that he was bringing us over a late lunch, and Alice was still here.

Oh, and I had seventeen missed calls and thirty-two text messages from Edward. All in eight fucking hours!

He missed me. He wanted me. He needed to touch me. Had my scent changed? Could he come by and check?

Alice ended up taking my phone from me and called him herself, screaming down the phone at him to leave me alone.

But the thing was, I kinda wanted him there with me.

I wouldn't admit that just now, because I still had to deal with dad and Gramps, but I missed Edward.

"You're starting to feel it, aren't you? That little tingle when you think of him," Alice said knowingly, but I shook my head.

"I'm not feeling anything but tiredness, Alice," I murmured, lying through my teeth.

"If you say so, but you'll have to admit it soon, because once you do, all hell will break loose with the pair of you and the sooner, the better. For all of us," she said with a cryptic laugh.

* * *

**Bella is admitting to herself about what's going on and how she feels. How long before she admits it all to Edward?**


	56. Chapter 56

**APOV**

"Hey! I missed you," Bella tried miserably to show enthusiasm for her Gramps when he walked into the autopsy room, and I fought not to laugh.

She might have missed him, but I didn't need to be a mind reader to know that she was dreading this situation. I could also hear that she was speaking through clenched teeth ─ the enamel grinding together worse than nails on a chalkboard.

If I hadn't been so worried Edward would come through the door at any moment, I would have laughed.

Edward, bless him, was out of his depth at the moment. He didn't know much more than Bella when it came to their situation, but I knew it was vital that Bella speak with her family _before _throwing Edward into the mix.

I knew how the men would take this situation, so I wasn't too worried just yet, but it could all change once they actually saw how Edward was with Bella.

It would prove an interesting meeting.

"Who's your friend, Isabella?" Geoffrey asked and it was my cue.

Wish me luck!

* * *

**Alice sees all and knows all, but she's still an irritating little $%^&£ lol**


	57. Chapter 57

**BPOV**

"Sorry, Gramps, I forgot. This is Alice," I murmured and pleaded to her with my eyes that she behave.

Just seeing the glint in her eyes told me that she wouldn't, and I braced myself against the stainless steel table for support.

"It's a pleasure to meet you, Sir. Bella hasn't told me a thing about you, but I'm sure that will all change soon," Alice chirped happily, skipping over to shake his hand.

Poor Gramps sputtered and coughed a little, no doubt thrown by her beauty. I didn't know who to hit first, him or Alice.

"The pleasure is _all_ mine," he flirted.

"Dear Lord, if you love me, strike me down now," I whispered to the ceiling.

* * *

**So, I've been thinking. ****_Shut up, it's not that rare!_**** Any way. This story is all written, so how about you get your thinking caps on and come up with some outtakes/futuretakes. Maybe you want to see how the others paired up or perhaps a glimpse into how Edward was as a baby with Aro? lol. I'll leave it up to you ;)**


	58. Chapter 58

"Gramps! Roll your tongue back in and Alice, will you behave? You have a husband at home!" I growled.

I felt like the only adult in the room.

"Just because I have everything I need, doesn't mean I can't window shop, right, Geoffrey?" Alice said and Gramps blushed.

"Alice," I growled again in warning, and thankfully this time she backed down a little.

I was going to thank her, but I didn't have time before she laughed and looked at the door.

A second later, Dad walked in with Sue, his 'friend,' with a large picnic basket.

Could this afternoon get any worse?

"Bells, Dad, good to see you," he said, then turned to Alice who was now laughing her ass off in the corner.

And she laughed harder. Her stupid vampire hearing was picking up something I couldn't. What now?

"Bella? I'm so sorry to barge in on you, but Edward insisted that I bring you lunch. He's in the car, he just wanted to be close to you, without being too close and 'driving you mad,' his words, not mine." I heard Esme's voice float from the corridor just before she walked into the room.

Alice was practically on the floor, rolling with laughter, Sue was clearly on edge, and I think both men were too horny for their own good.

I let my head fall onto the table.

Repeatedly.

I wish someone would jump right in now and tell me how to kill a vampire. There had to be a way, right? I just couldn't put up with her chirpy, laughing ass anymore!

* * *

**I think Bella's reaching breaking point!**


	59. Chapter 59

"Bella, what's going on? Who's Edward? Edward _Cullen_? But he's dead," Dad rambled, and I lifted my head to glare at the Cullen women.

I wish people would stop mentioning dead people. It gives me a head ache.

"Cullen? _The_ Cullens?" I heard Sue stutter.

"The one and only. Well, that's not true, there's more than one of us." Alice said and Sue nodded her head before sitting down.

Dad looked pale and Gramps, well, he was still lusting after Alice.

"The cold ones? That can't be right. Can it, Sue?" Dad stuttered and my heart rate picked up drastically.

"You might want to cool it, Bella. _Ooops_, too late," Alice giggled.

* * *

**I'm taking you up to chapter 61 tonight, because I can't wait any longer lol**


	60. Chapter 60

"Seriously, did you have to?" I hissed while pinned to the wall, my legs around Edward's waist while he growled into my neck.

"Mine. Safe. Mine," he mewled. I don't think it helped that I had begun to scratch the back of his neck. It was as nice for me as it was for him. His skin was so hard, yet soft at the same time and I got small vibrations going up my fingers when I did it.

"Yes, Edward. She's yours and she's safe. Now, do I have to call your father down here? Lord knows what the others will think of this. You manhandling a girl like this in front of her family," Esme huffed, but Edward didn't budge.

From my position against the wall, I couldn't see Dad or Gramps, which was a good thing, because I was slightly flustered by Edward's hard cock against my pussy.

"Actually, she's _mine_ until I walk her down the aisle, so would someone please explain to me why a dead man is molesting my daughter and what's going on in here?" Dad barked out, and Edward growled again just before I felt his grip on me loosen.

The next thing I knew, we were both slumped on the floor, Edward's dead weight trapping me.

Is it bedtime yet?

* * *

***Snorts***


	61. Chapter 61

"Edward's not a _full_ cold one and suffers from the occasional bout of narcolepsy, as you can see, when his stress levels heighten." Alice nodded over her shoulder at the steel table where Gramps and Dad had moved Edward once they pulled him off of me. "So when he was brought in the other day, he wasn't actually dead, just sleeping. He's bonding with her, she's taking her sweet ass time accepting it, but it will happen. Geoffrey just walked in the door and doesn't know much more. Oh, and Mom brought lunch," Alice explained calmly.

_Narcoleptic?_

Suddenly I was back against the wall, panting growls of "Mine" being breathed across my neck. How had he moved so fast? Oh, right. Vampire.

_He was a scary _narcoleptic_ vampire?_

"A cold one? What Billy told me about? Why on earth did Esme bring lunch if you drink blood?" Gramps asked, ignoring my less than appropriate situation.

Edward's cock was now firmly – pun intended – pressed against my pussy. And let me just tell you; having two purring pussy's in front of your family is _not_ good.

I had a purring narcoleptic hybrid as a bonding mate.

Erm . . .

"Hello? Isabella is pinned up against the wall being ravished by a hybrid vampire who's wanting to mate with her before he knows anything about her, and you want to know why Esme brought food instead of a flask of blood for lunch?" I growled.

_Why the fuck was everyone just standing there chatting away like they do over Sunday dinner?!_

And did any of them catch that I was apparently bonding with a narcoleptic vampire? Seriously, how much more fucked up could this get?!

"I like it when you growl, my Bella, can you do it again?" He whispered and pushed his hips further against mine.

* * *

**Hands up who would have a purring narcoleptic Edward curled up in their lap?**


	62. Chapter 62

Now we were all back at the Cullen Compound - as Emmett called it - and while Carlisle was downstairs talking to my family, I was in Edward's bed.

Again.

"I don't like being away from you. I like how you smell and taste and feel," he murmured into the crook of my neck, acting out each action as he said it. Why did I like it when he licked me?

I was currently lying on top of him and quite enjoying myself.

Not that I would be admitting that any time soon. I was still angry with my body for betraying my head.

I should have been going crazy right about then with how this was all happening, but only my body was crazy.

Crazy in a lust filled way.

"Will you stay tonight? We don't have to do anything, I just want to hold you." He whimpered while I scratched his scalp with my nails.

"Okay," I replied, internally pouting that we didn't _have _to do anything.

What if I _wanted_ to?

* * *

**Evening all! Sorry there's been no updates so far today. It's my girl's 12th birthday and it's been a hectic one. Tomorrow is worse . . . we have to go *gags* shopping! lol**


	63. Chapter 63

_"__Bella, we're heading home now. Esme and Carlisle have explained everything and your Gramps told me to pass on the message that you have the next week off, to erm . . . yeah, get to know each other,"_ Dad's muffled voice filtered through Edward's bedroom door.

"Okay," I squeaked in reply and felt Edward's fingers skim along the waistline on my scrub pants.

_A little lower . . . Please?_

He didn't though.

Just back and forth, back and forth, his fingers tracing the same pattern.

"I can smell you. I know you like it," he whispered into my neck.

Humiliation or what!

"Edward, do you know how embarrassing that is to hear? That you can _smell_ me?" I asked, hoping that my voice was low enough for the others not to hear.

No such luck, because we both heard Emmett belt out a laugh.

"I kinda like it when you're not all needy and possessive, Edward. I never thought you could be so relaxed," I whispered.

"As long as I get you in my arms and you're happy, so am I."

* * *

** So, if Edward's starting to chill out, what about Bella?**


	64. Chapter 64

Two weeks.

Two weeks I had been at the Cullen's house.

Gramps told me to take an extended leave at the end of the first week - after Carlisle explained that we hadn't resolved any of our 'issues.' Dad was sulking.

He missed my food, even though Alice assured me that Sue was keeping him fed.

Edward was apparently lucky, because he could take or leave drinking blood, so he didn't leave my side often. When he did need a drink, which was always at Carlisle's insistence, he had a cup of it at meal times.

How nice.

I still hadn't plucked up the courage to ask how they got it from the animal _into _the cup, though. It's not like deer came with taps screwed into their necks for easy pouring.

* * *

**Mmm, Deer-on-Tap... How nice!**


	65. Chapter 65

So, two weeks after I had all but moved into the Cullen home, well, that's when things started to get a little strange for me.

Well, _stranger_ than things already were.

It started when I blocked Edward from coming into the bathroom with me.

Fine, he could smell me and stuff, but did I really need him to come with me when I went to the toilet? I think not.

And yeah, that's when things went strange.

Me, the most level-headed person out of everyone, managed to have a mild panic attack, while sitting on the toilet of all places.

I couldn't even explain how or why it started; only that it _did,_ and that Edward burst into the room.

_Mid_

_Pee_.

* * *

**Here's a question... Ever ran the tap while going for a pee so no one can hear you? Ever thought that they heard not only your pee, but the water running, too, and now think you have an elephant size bladder? Just sayin' . . . hehehe**


	66. Chapter 66

"She's a bit slow on the uptake, isn't she? I thought it was quicker than this, for a human to start feeling the bond," Emmett muttered, and I threw him a glare.

"Slow? It took Esme close on six months!" Carlisle laughed, and it was my turn to growl.

"I don't get why I feel like this, and Edward won't, or can't, explain, so don't start taking the piss out of me and find all of this funny, because it's not," I hissed, and then let Edward soothe me while I curled into his lap.

I didn't want to feel this, this longing and deep urge to be with Edward. I really didn't, but I couldn't help it. It was blissful and I craved it; I wanted more.

I wanted more of him, I needed it.

And I didn't know why!

* * *

** Oh bless, her hehehe.**


	67. Chapter 67

"Isabella, look at me."

I glared.

"No, not like that. I'm not going to harm you or him, just look at me _nicely_," Carlisle said, but he was too close.

I didn't want him this close to us, he needed to back off. A low growl built up in my throat.

Edward purred in my ear, obviously liking the sounds I was making.

It was still foreign to me.

"Go. Away," I hissed.

He was next to our bed. Too damn close.

"Bella, listen, sweetheart, you need to understand what's going to happen," Carlisle spoke in a soothing manner and it made me whimper.

I didn't understand.

I was confused.

I wasn't _me_ anymore.

Who was I?

* * *

**LOL!**


	68. Chapter 68

EPOV

She was beautiful.

So kind and loving, and so caring, but her beauty took my breath away.

"Edward, now that she's sleeping, we really need to talk," Dad said once I'd slipped out of her bedroom.

Our moods changed at the drop of a hat and even though I knew most of the time what was going on, there were still moments when I became possessive and dangerous around the others.

"Go on."

"Although you're not fully a vampire, you can still compute a lot more than the average human. You can have several thoughts at once and still know what's going on, but Bella, she's different. She is only human and her body will have a hard time working out what's going on," he began explaining while he guided me to his office.

Once we were there, I became confused as to why mom was sat there, looking out of the window.

"Mom?"

"Edward, it's about time you got your head out of your ass. Come and sit down so we can talk."

* * *

**Gotta love Esme!**


	69. Chapter 69

"When your father first saw me, he was considerate and compassionate enough to watch me from a distance for a while. How he fought against the pull of the bond, I will never know, but he did, and it gave me time to adjust in a slower manner than what is happening now for you and Bella," she mused, a small smile on her face.

"Bella's body has been triggered by your actions and scent. It's reverting back to its very basic needs and wants. Every human can look at another and go, "Oh, you're cute, I think I love you now," and that's enough for them, but it's different with us. We have a deeper need to be with our mates," Dad elaborated.

Erm.

"What your father is trying to tell you, Edward, is that Bella is going to behave like you. Very soon. She's already protective and possessive of you toward anyone who comes near, but that will get worse." Mom smirked.

"How?" I asked.

"She's going to get horny. Really _vampire_ horny."

* * *

**Ha! Okay, just realized that the moment I mention 'vampire Horny', we land on chapter 69. Hehehe**


	70. Chapter 70

"Horny?" I spluttered.

I wasn't stupid. I knew what was going to happen. I just didn't think that Bella would be anything but _human_ about all of this.

"Her baser instincts will come out. It's not just vampires that like to bite and pull hair when they get a little . . . _amorous_, Edward. Only this time, with Bella and your bonding, it will be a lot more intense than either of you have ever felt in the past," Dad said with a grin, and I had to fight not to get hard in front of them.

Just the thought of Horny Bella was enough to get me going. But please, not in front of my parents!

"Think of your possessiveness and intense feelings for each other so far as foreplay, Edward. It will only get worse until you finish the bonding. So, on that note, we're going to go and see the Denali's for a little while. Leave you and Bella to bond." Mom laughed at my dropped jaw.

Just me and Bella. In the house. All alone.

Sounds good to me!

Where's Bella?

* * *

**Good morning, everyone! The Birthday girl had a great day yesterday, shopping. Me? Not so much. I wanted to kick so many ankles. I didn't though. *pouts***


	71. Chapter 71

"But why do _we_ have to leave just because _they're_ horny? Nobody left us alone when we first bonded," Emmett muttered and Rose threw a bag at him.

"Just shut up and pack you dumbass. I think Edward has heard enough of us over the years, he deserves a little peace and quiet with Bella," Rose snapped back.

It was like a tennis match between them. Him whining and Rose bitching, back and forth, all the time.

"When are they going to go? I want you, Edward," Bella purred in my ear and I fought, Christ did I fight, to control my body.

"Soon," I replied, hating the fact that I was wearing jeans.

Damn seam of the fabric.

"Are you hard for me, Edward? I want you hard," she mewled, and I was two steps away from coming.

Then she started sucking on my ear lobe . . .

* * *

**Poor Edward lol**


	72. Chapter 72

BPOV

"Cars are packed up, Bella has enough food, and Edward will wake up again in approximately . . . nine minutes. Let's hope he knows what he's doing because if he keeps falling asleep like this, they'll never get it on," Alice said with a laugh while she skipped through the front door and headed toward the stairs.

Edward and I were on the couch, while I ran my fingers through his hair and my nails against his scalp.

"I don't care about cars and food, I just want Edward," I growled.

"Yeah, all in good time," Rose giggled. _Giggled!_

Damn woman needed to get out of there like yesterday.

"Time to go, people!"

"Thank-you, Alice!"

* * *

**Can you imagine Edward passing out in the middle of it! Hahahaha. Poor sod!**


	73. Chapter 73

EPOV

"I have really got to keep awake," I moaned the moment I felt myself waking up.

"Yes, yes you do," my beauty replied, her nails delightfully scratching my scalp.

"It's so quiet," I noted, and then opened my eyes.

"It is. That's because your family have left us all alone." She was giggling as she replied.

"Oh, that sounds so good," I chuckled and sat up, finally pulling myself from her touch.

"Do you feel calmer, now that everybody's gone?" I asked once I'd stood up.

She looked so beautiful, but ruffled, curled up on the couch.

"I feel a lot calmer now. No one in our personal space, no one talking or interfering." She grinned.

"You won't be calm for too much longer," I said and reached forward, picking her up off the couch with ease. Her giggles made my heart so much lighter while I ran towards the stairs with her.

* * *

**Oooo, is it time?!**


	74. Chapter 74

"I _do_ want to be a gentleman and be loving with you, but I just don't think I can on our first attempt. All these weeks of having you near me, changing, mewling, guarding me . . . I just can't. I need you, now," I growled into her neck as I placed her feet onto the ground and walked her back toward the bed.

"Yes, now. I agree, it has to be now." Her fingers were in my hair again, pulling tightly at the roots. It gave just enough pain for it to be pleasure and the stinging sensation sent shivers down my spine.

"And you won't bitch at me if I tear your clothes a little?" I asked, smirking as she panted.

"No, not at all."

"Good." I chuckled and ripped her shirt from her body. Next came her jeans and there she was, standing in front of me in just her pretty white bra and panties.

"You said 'a little'," she gasped.

"I lied."

* * *

**He lied! And we're not even going to complain . . . are we?** ***raises eyebrow***


	75. Chapter 75

We didn't need foreplay. I could smell her scent from where I stood; she was ready and needy, and so was I. I needed her now more than ever. She was running her fingers through my hair, her nails scratching on my scalp, as I let my fingers travel all over her bare skin.

"Edward, stop thinking and _fuck_ me," she purred, and who was I to deny her what she wanted — what she needed?

I pushed her back onto the bed, basking in her little girly squeals as her hair billowed around her head when she landed.

I was seriously turning into a girl.

"If you want it, Mr. Cullen, then come and get it." Bella laughed and I let my body fall on top of her, careful of how I landed.

* * *

**I'm just gonna shut up for a few chapters!**


	76. Chapter 76

BPOV

My underwear was a goner and I didn't give a flying fuck because Edward's hands were all over me as his tongue lapped at my skin. He was naked now, just like I was, and to feel his skin against mine . . . Well, there were no words.

Maybe there was, but my mind couldn't think now. All it could process was that he wasn't _in _me. "Edward, please, I need you now. I _really_ need you," I whispered and I didn't even recognize my own voice as I let my nails scratch up his sides.

Lust, that's what I heard: lust and need.

His skin broke out in goose bumps when my fingertips tickled over his skin.

He looked up from my body to my eyes, and yeah, I was definitely a goner.

And then he was in me.


	77. Chapter 77

Thrusting.

Oh, God, the thrusting. So deep my boobs bounced with a thud each time.

My legs were over his shoulders and then they were right back, knees almost by my head.

Then he was behind me, thrusting again, harder each time as he swiveled his hips in an agonizingly slow and erotic movement.

Pulling my hair.

Growling, tight against my skin.

Pinned up against the wall, the grandfather clock obliterated.

My teeth grazing the skin of his neck. His shoulders. His chest.

Over the dressing table, its contents thrown against the floor.

The shower. Oh, God, the shower! Hot water stinging our skin until the water ran cold.

I lost count of my orgasms and my throat burned where I had groaned and cried out so much.

Back to the bed we eventually went, whimpering and weak, but so blissfully happy.

More than that, I felt complete.

Oh, God, I had turned into one of _those_ girls!


	78. Chapter 78

Many, _many_, hours later . . .

EPOV

I'd had sex before, that was a given, but _nothing_ like this before. No way.

Never, in all of my life, had I had a connection with someone like I'd had with Bella over the last three days.

Three days of blissful connection, of making love, of downright fucking.

We'd done it everywhere, except for the other bedrooms, even the downstairs washroom.

And now I was sulking.

I didn't mean to, but I wanted more and Bella said I couldn't until she'd healed, whatever that meant.

I thought about phoning Mom and asking her why Bella was walking in a funny way, but Bella would have my balls.

She'd already warned me.

I did offer to go and get her a wheelchair from the hospital if she needed one, but it resulted in her throwing an orange at me over breakfast.

* * *

**Poor Bella . . . Kinda hehe**


	79. Chapter 79

A week later and I was finally allowed to love her again, but I had to promise to go gentle before we got started. A really hard feat when she kept on moaning for me to go harder and deeper.

No wonder men were baffled by their partners. We could never do anything right!

Over the week, I had bathed her and fed her, read to her, and even played a game of cat's cradle, which involved a long loop of elastic, wrapped around our fingers.

We finished off a game of Monopoly and I beat her ass at Go Fish.

I tried to please her so much so I could get her back into bed, to connect our bodies again, but nothing worked.

That was until I took her hunting with me.

Now _that_ will be a day that I will never forget.

* * *

**What could happen when they go hunting?**


	80. Chapter 80

BPOV

_Day One:_ I am _never_ having sex again as long as I lived.

_Day Two:_ Is it supposed to hurt when you pee?

_Day Three:_ Sensation coming back.

_Day Four: _Yep, I think I can walk again.

_Day Five:_ My pussy is groaning in protest, but he does look damn fucking sexy in just sweat pants as he cocks, sorry, _cooks _for me.

_Day Six:_ He needs to hunt for blood and I need to hunt for his cock.

_Day Seven: _The strike is over!

"Edward, your eyes are black, do you need to eat or something?" I asked, running my fingers around his eyes.

"Later," he purred, but I was having none of it.

"You need _food_, Edward."

"I'm not leaving you here." He pouted.

"Then take me with you."

* * *

**Food or sex, food or sex, food or sex? lol**


	81. Chapter 81

We flew out of his bedroom window and then straight back in again when I reminded him that I was just in my panties.

It was quite comical to hear him fight with himself over whether he wanted to admire 'the view,' or have to kill anyone else who looked at me.

_We_ settled on a very short pair of shorts and my bra. It wasn't cold, so we didn't have to worry about that; and it appeased Edward a little.

Then we were off, deep into the woods on the other side of the river, while I was attached to his back like a limpet.

When we we'd gone deep enough into the woods, he placed me on a small patch of springy moss and then sat down.

"What happened to hunting?" I asked.

"We'll get to that in a moment," he purred.

"Oh, no, not yet, Mister, you need to hunt first," I said, putting my foot down with him.

"You're no fun." He pouted; he was getting quite good at it.

"Not yet, I'm not." I laughed.

* * *

**I have developed a dislike for Mondays. Or maybe just today. Either way, it's been crappy. Can I get a do-over? lol**


	82. Chapter 82

_Dear Lord, you need to strike me down before I combust!_

Watching Edward stalk prey was beyond mesmerizing.

He was in a pair of jeans and nothing else. Barefoot, which I _loved_, with his top half just rippling as his muscles moved under his skin.

If I was to die today, I'd die very fucking happy, let me tell you that now.

And then he pounced.

I couldn't even tell you what he grabbed and brought down, but fuck me, I was in heaven.

And too turned on for my own good.

I didn't know if it was safe to go near him while he ate, so I sat by a tree and forced myself to sit on my hands so they wouldn't wander down into my shorts.

Yes, I was _that_ turned on.

* * *

**Have you ever had to sit on your hands? ;)**


	83. Chapter 83

EPOV

As the cougar's heartbeat dulled, I heard Bella's pick up and I had to fight between drinking and going to take her against a tree.

No, I needed to feed. I needed to be strong enough for her.

But God, I so wanted her and by the sound of her heart beating and the smell of her scent, she wanted me too.

Did hunting and feeding turn her on so much? If it did, I'd gladly take her daily.

"I need you, Edward," she whispered and that was enough for me.

I didn't worry about the state of my body or the blood on my tongue.

She needed me and that was all I cared about.

* * *

**So why is Edward so feral? Cat like with his purring etc... well, they do say you are what you eat ;)**


	84. Chapter 84

BPOV

I was walking like John Wayne, my hair was matted like I hadn't brushed it in weeks, and I could taste metal like shit in my mouth that he called mountain lion.

My back, no doubt, was littered with deep scratches from the tree bark, and yet again I was naked, clothes ruined. But I just couldn't give a shit.

"Do you want a white dress and babies? I know Mom would love grandkids and Emmett, although an idiot most of the time, would be a great uncle. The others would be good, too, but babies would be good, I could be a good dad," Edward whispered.

It was my turn to suddenly pass out.


	85. Chapter 85

EPOV.

"What. Did. You. Do?" Mom hissed when I finally got hold of her.

I was in a panic.

Bella was still unconscious, even though she was now back in our bed. She just wouldn't wake up. I didn't know what to do!

"We were just talking, that's all. I asked her if she wanted to get married and have kids someday," I said, not exactly telling Mom word for word what I had said.

"You're lying, there's no way she would pass out at the mere mention of marriage and babies," Mom hissed and I blanched.

"Well . . ."

Two hours later and Bella was awake and Mom was home. She'd left the others up in Denali National Park, for which I was grateful.

I don't think I wanted Emmett to be home just yet.

"I can't believe you just came out with it!" Mom hissed again.

* * *

**He has very little common sense, don't you think? ;)**


	86. Chapter 86

Six months had gone by, how freaky was that‽

Charlie, Bella's dad, had moved into Sue's house and I had moved into Charlie's with Bella. We had tried to make it work at home with my family, but the others kept laughing every time we had sex.

Emmett said I sounded like a girl when I came, and although Dad told me that I didn't and that Emmett was just winding me up, Bella hated it.

Not the noises, no. Emmett and Jasper. They would wind her up about everything, from going to the toilet to farting.

I know, I know, it was wrong, but I laughed a few times, too. It had been so long since any of us were around true humans that, well, they found everything she did funny.

Anyway, after Bella put me on a sex ban, I took matters into my own hands, no pun intended, and talked with Charlie.

A week later and I had all my stuff in Bella's house, Mom was crying, and Emmett was acting like a three-year-old who'd had his toys taken from him.

We hadn't talked about marriage and babies again since the first failed attempt, but Alice would show me little glimpses of the future, so I was happy.

* * *

**Bless him . . . . lol**


	87. Chapter 87

Harry, Sue's deceased husband, had been the chief of their tribe. So, in a twist of fate, the old police Chief Charlie Swan, was now the chief of the tribe.

It was hilarious when he was informed of this right after he and Sue got married. Actually, the whole day was hilarious.

You imagine Charlie inviting six and a half vampires to his wedding, on the reservation of a tribe that phased into wolves, who were the mortal enemy of said six and a half vampires.

Everyone was on edge until a wolf four times the size of Bella tried sniffing her up, quite literally. He was horny as hell and I was just about to pounce on him when Bella tapped him on the snout and forcefully said, "Bad puppy," before walking off.

That was it, everyone roared out in laughter and once all the wolves phased back into humans, the race was on to see who could eat the most, kill the most game characters, and who could run the fastest.

It was a good day.

* * *

**We only have a few chapters left. Remember to let me know if you want any outtakes (smutty or not) or any scene you would love to see! :D**


	88. Chapter 88

"You are fucking joking? Seriously, you want me to lose my shit with you, because I will, I swear it. I'll rip someone apart if they're taking the piss." Bella growled and in any other situation I'd say she was sexy, but she downright scared me at the moment.

"No," I squeaked. I wouldn't lie to her, but I wasn't too sure if she'd rip me a new asshole when I told her the truth.

"He is sixty-five, Edward. Sixty-five! How, _how _did this happen? God, they're going to have to _do it_, like what we did? He'd . . . EWWWW! You tell her right now that she's not going to get her skanky claws anywhere near him, he's too young! Or . . . she looks too young!" Bella wailed as the party halted downstairs.

Yeah.

Old Grandpa Swan had found a connection in Tanya, our cousin. She was well over a thousand years old, so you couldn't gripe at him for robbing the cradle. Neither of them were "young," in their own ways.

"When your mom asked about what present to give him for his birthday, I wasn't expecting a _vampire girlfriend_!" She hissed.

Damn.

* * *

**Hehehehe, I bet you didn't see that coming! ;)**


	89. Chapter 89

So time moved on. Charlie and Sue got married got married, of course, and then Grandpa and Tanya were on their honeymoon where he was being changed by Tanya.

I was wondering when it would be _our _time.

I had dared to ask Bella a few times now, but each time she passed out or got close to it. I was getting worried over whether or not narcolepsy was catching.

I hadn't passed out myself in a long time, now that I was bonded and more focused on things, like Bella, but I did wonder if she was okay.

Dad said she was fine and that it might have been her reaction to actually getting married, but I wasn't so sure.

That was until February the following year and, as luck would have it, it was a leap year.

Not only was it customary for the woman to propose, but Bella had taken it upon herself to arrange a wedding, too.

So, on Valentine's Day 2011, I married my beautiful blushing bride.

She was only blushing because of remarks from Emmett, but I didn't care. Bella was beautiful, stunning even, and I was in my element.

I was so surprised that she had arranged all of this in secret, but nothing would surprise me more than when we got to bed that night and she gave me another gift.

She was pregnant.

_I _passed out that time.

* * *

**I have SO many ideas for outtakes, but you still have your chance to let me know what you want! :D**


	90. Chapter 90

BPOV

"I swear to God, you do that once more and you're on a sex ban until Katie comes out of school, for the _second _time!" I hissed.

This was the third time Edward had tricked our poor daughter into thinking that Daddy was dead on the autopsy table.

The poor girl had screamed the place down, and if it hadn't been for Rose coming in and slapping the shit out of Edward, I would have had to have done it, and I just didn't have it in me.

I was pregnant again, and beyond stressed. I had just finished up my exams at uni and had been given the green light to work on my own, fit for purpose and all that.

Shame I wouldn't actually do much working.

After a tricky and awkward birth with Katie and with this little boy growing inside of me by the minute, we decided that I would be changed by Edward and Carlisle once he was born. After that, I wouldn't be fit to be around anyone living, or dead for that matter, for a while. Besides, I kinda liked being a mom full time.

I also had a long list of stuff to do in regards to getting my own back on Emmett and Jasper. That would take a century at least.

"It was just a bit of fun for Halloween, baby. I thought she'd like it, being a half vamp," Edward pouted at the retreating screams of our little girl.

Rose had promised her ice cream if she calmed down, but there was no hope of that happening yet.

"Quarter vamp, Edward, and what little girl at her age - or any age - would be okay with that? Her Daddy dead on my table?" I groaned.

He took my groaning for something else and before I knew it, I was gently being pinned to the wall. Again.

"I can't wait until you're all vamp, baby, and then I can _truly_ fuck you. Hard."

If he hadn't been truly fucking me for the last five years, what the hell had he been doing?

* * *

**And that's all she wrote! (until I finish the outtakes etc...)**

**I'm going to leave all the soppy shite and thanks etc... until I mark the story complete, but I do need to say thanks to one person. **

**texasbella. Even though she has been busy publishing the Divine Trilogy and other books, she has still made time to go through this, kick my arse and just be an all round awesome friend. So yeah, thanks baby! *Now get your arse back into the Surreal doc, people want it ASAP!***

**Outtakes are to follow, so remember to let me know what you want!**


	91. Chapter 91

**EsPOV**

I felt like such a pervert, but who wouldn't?

He was striding down the corridor in his white coat and overly squeaky shoes and he couldn't have been more perfect if he'd tried.

I'd seen him six months ago and I couldn't shake the feeling that he was mine. I know, it sounds strange and kind of stalkerish, but that's how I felt.

I managed to find out what hours he worked at our local doctor's practice during the week and his hospital shift two weekends out of four.

I also found out where he lived, but I hadn't had the stomach to see him there. Up until now, I had only seen him in between the café and the doctor's office.

"If you keep on following me, I'll get a complex,"

I screamed to high heaven when he whispered from behind me.

Then I wondered how he'd managed to slip in behind me.

I turned to see the most dazzling golden eyes looking back at me and all I wanted to do was kiss him.

So I did.

The rest, they say, is history.

* * *

**Hello all! To follow are 9 outtakes etc... I'm working on an idea for the 100th chapter, so feel free to let me know what you want ;)**


	92. Chapter 92

EPOV

"I'm not touching her! I don't care how much you think of it being a good idea. No, it's not going to happen," I moaned.

"I think what your father is trying to suggest, Edward, is that you would make a fine match, that's all," mom hedged as she sat next to me.

"A fine match? Mom, she spends half her time looking at herself in the mirror and the other half shooting me daggers!"

"Son, she's only looking at you like that because you have a heart beat and you're half human. She can't understand that you're not food to her," dad cut in and I couldn't stop laughing.

"So you want me to mate with someone who can't decide if I'm a mate or a meat! Shit, I thought you two loved me!"

* * *

**Can you guess who Edward is talking about? lol!**

**Sorry For the delay. I had to go and play nurse for my mum, who was rushed to hospital. She's all better now and I'm back home ;) So who wants more outtakes?**


	93. Chapter 93

EPOV

"Oh heavens! Carlisle! Come quick!"

Did I or didn't I put my laundry out? Yes I did. I even cleared up the mess I made in the kitchen. I'm pretty sure mom wasn't screaming about whatever _I_ had done or didn't.

"Carlisle, when I call and say _come quick_, that means _NOW _you great fool!" Mom screeched and I decided it was time to put the book down and see what all the fuss was about.

_"__I think I want to marry her . . . I wonder what the sex would be like . . . I truly am in heaven . . . "_

Well _that_ wasn't a voice I had heard before.

"Oh, Rose, what did you _do_?!" I heard dad say just as I reached the living room.

She mumbled a faint mess of words before I found my eyes falling to a dark haired, blood covered man on the couch.

"Rose chose meat over sex!" I blurted out with a laugh.

* * *

**lol, it was Rose in the last chapter. But who is this new person in the house?  
**


	94. Chapter 94

JPOV

She owned my ass, my cock and everything else in between. She had from the moment I saw her, sinking her teeth into a jam packed burger at that diner.

I loved her with every breath, with my whole being, but I thought she was nuts!

"I just don't think we should do this, sweet cheeks," I mused as she started hauling boxes out of the room to put them God knows where.

"Hun, I had a vision. We came, we saw, we conquered. Well, I saw, we came, we have a new family!" she replied with a grin as she picked up the last box.

"Alice, we're in a house that's home to a bunch of vampires. We've turned out the person who lives in this room – because you like the view – and now you're just going to say 'hi' when they walk back into the house after hunting? How nuts are you?" I laughed. I couldn't help feel happy when she projected such a calm and radiant mood to me.

"I'm not nuts at all, Jasper. We're going to have brothers and a bitch, a mom and a dad. We'll be a true family. How can I be nuts about that – unless you mean totally nuts _happy_," she laughed.

* * *

**Alice ****_is_**** a little nuts ;)**


	95. Chapter 95

EmPOV

"So . . . Little sis, how does it feel to be so . . . big?" I asked. She was teaching me how to make an apple pie, but because her belly was so big, she couldn't get to the counter properly. Everything she did was side on. So funny to watch.

"So . . . big brother, how does it feel to be so . . . thick?" she replied without missing a beat.

"Point well made, sis, point well made,"

"EMMETT! We need towels and boiling water and a clear working space!" Jasper screamed as he ran through the house and stopped right in front of us.

"Why?" I asked, bringing a chunk of apple to my lips.

A second later, Bella's water broke all over my socks.

"That's why," Jasper replied.

* * *

**I couldn't help it! Hehehehe**


	96. Chapter 96

EPOV

"Edward, we need to head home. Bella's water is about to break and she's at home with Numpty and Dumpty," Alice screamed through the woods and she came flying toward me.

Bella.

Water.

Baby.

Emmett.

Jasper.

I barely managed to put all of it together before we took off through the woods to find our parents and to get home. It was bad enough that I wasn't there, but to leave Bella with the other two was just not worth thinking about.

I was a mess by the time we got home and it didn't get any better.

We ran into the living room to see Bella glaring at me as the baby's head crowned. Emmett and Jasper encouraging her and cringing at the same time.

"Man, you want to take over? As much as I love my sis, this all looks like a deleted scene out of that Alien film we watched last month." Emmett said. Sadly, Bella wasn't in the mood to let go of his hand.

Ten minutes later, with _all_ of us present, Bella gave birth to our beautiful baby girl. With lungs the size of Texas.

* * *

**I have a new love . . . Emmett lol**


	97. Chapter 97

BPOV

"I'm not touching it,"

"Hun, I don't care. I carried her for nine months, that's forty weeks, Edward. I gave birth to her with your family all in attendance. You nearly missed her birth and I didn't curse you out. Not once. You. Are. Changing. It," I growled.

It was so funny to see this gorgeous man, all six foot three inches of him, cowering against the wall thanks to our daughter's first diaper change.

"Bella, the love of my life, she has _girlie_ bits. I don't want to change girlie bits and for heaven's sake, her poop is black. That can't be normal! How about we just get dad to change it and he can check it all over at the same time," he muttered.

"Black poop, as you put it, is perfectly normal, so get over here and changer her diaper!" I laughed.

He did do it – in the end. It took him over twenty minutes, half a pack of wet wipes and with his eyes closed half the time.

Bless, my man was growing up.

* * *

**This scene was based on my hubby's reaction to his first diaper with our girl. ;)**


	98. Chapter 98

ArPOV

"My Lord, we have it on good authority that the Cullens have created another baby. Your brothers are asking what you intend on doing about it,"

"I am in the bath, you idiot. What do you want me to do, get out and deal with this matter immediately?" I said, irritated that I had been disturbed.

"They said that it was important, my Lord,"

"Please remind my brothers, in case their ages have caught up with them, that the last time I saw them, we were subjected to many issues regarding their son. I have no intention of going through that again, do you hear me? I don't do babies or children and if this child is like that last one, we'll be missing more than just fingers,"

Yes, the child decided to start using my finger as a teething ring. Never again, never! I missed my finger so dearly.

"Sources say that the baby is Edward's child,"

"Then there's no way I will be going anywhere near it, do you understand?! We will stay here and communicate by telephone, if we have to, but I will not be subjected to that family again." I muttered, dunking my head under the water.

* * *

***snorts* couldn't help but write this one ;)**


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